The name's Rachel. I'm a 20 year old college student who blogs to escape from everything else . Here you'll find a mash of fandoms and whatever odd things I find amusing on my dash.

users online

 

tehjai:

steel-plated-hearts:

a kid at hogwarts who just wants to get a proper education but can’t focus because of all of the shit harry potter and his friends keep getting themselves into

Jenna B. Lacey, age eleven, knew exactly what she was going to do with her life.

She was going to go to Hogwarts, get top grades, and be the youngest female Minister of Magic by age 35.

It would have been a good plan, if she hadn’t been in the same year as Harry Potter.

*   *   *   

Year one started out great. She was sorted into Hufflepuff, did well in all her classes, and aced the exams.

A troll smashed its way through the study room she was in on Halloween, but that wasn’t going to deter her. 

*   *   *   

Year two was a disaster. People were getting petrified, and worse—the teachers had to herd them from place to place, which severely cut down on her library time. She had to study in the common room, which meant instead of a nice, quiet atmosphere, she got a soundtrack of nervous Hufflepuffs.

And on top of that, exams were cancelled. It was a disaster.

*   *   *   

Third year, she started to notice a trend.

First the troll, than the petrifications, and now dementor guards and escaped convicts. What did they all have in common? Potter.

After Black broke in and everyone had to spend the night in the Great Hall, interrupting Jenna’s last minute studying for a test the next day, she took to giving Potter angry looks in every class.

He did not notice.

*   *   *   

They announced the Triwizard tournament at dinner the first night of fourth year, and Jenna almost started crying.

Potter was going to take this one over. She just knew it.

And she was right.

Voldemort rose at the end of the year. She honestly didn’t know what she had expected.

*   *   *    

Fifth year brought Umbridge. She joined the DA because she was going to need a better background in defense, but that didn’t mean she was any happier about Potter.

She imagined it was him she was hexing instead of Zachariah Smith.

But, by the end of the year, focus on her studies was impossible. After Dumbledore left, it was complete anarchy.

Potter’s fault. Of course.

*   *   *   

Sixth year she started volunteering in the hospital wing. She needed a backup plan in case Potter fucked it up.

All seemed quiet, until they brought Malfoy in. It was apparently Potter’s fault, which surprised everyone except Jenna.

Later, she was peacefully studying in a little nook on the third floor when some Death Eaters and some other adults started dueling right under her nose.

This was the worst fucking school, honestly.

*   *   *   

They were calling it “The Final Battle.”

Jenna ran through the hall, dodging in and out of the children evacuating, until she saw him. 

“POTTER.”

He turned, startled. “Um—Jenna, right? We’re sort of busy—”

She grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him up until he was eye level with her. “If I’m not Minister of Magic by age 35, it is going to be entirely your fault and I’m going to hurt you.”

She dropped him and stormed away, leaving him to whatever he was doing. She had to fight this goddamn war so she could go back to her fucking studying.

*   *   *   

She became Minister of Magic at age 36.

Fucking Potter.

I think I just found the best Harry Potter fanfic

(Source: itsvondell)

anninymouse:

My dream for The Avengers: Age of Ultron is that it starts out with each of the Avengers getting a call early in the morning that they need to come in, and when they get to Clint, they’re like, “We still don’t have Romanoff’s new location, so if you have a way of contacting her, pass the message to her as well.” Clint replies, “I’ll see if I can track her down,” and hangs up the phone. Then he rolls over in bed and is like, “Hey Nat, get up, they need us.”

takemeasiamff:

thebravedontsurrender:

afadedbouquet:

brunomarsislife:

THE MOST ACCURATE GIFSET IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Jenna Marbles describes the female tumblr world with complete accuracy.

should i be embarrassed to reblog this because im fuCKING NOT

HONESTLYYY

(Source: babyintrenchcoat)

offendedstraightboy:

waitingwanderlust:

majoras-windwaker:

So I cut it with a flat one instead.

i bet a lot of people reblog this and don’t understand it

son sit down literally everybody gets it

offendedstraightboy:

waitingwanderlust:

majoras-windwaker:

So I cut it with a flat one instead.

i bet a lot of people reblog this and don’t understand it

son sit down literally everybody gets it
Because of my hair, I rarely, rarely get recognized, but I was in America couple of weeks ago, and I was in a lift in a department store and the doors opened and this woman stood there, looked at me and just went, “Khaleesi!” and then the doors closed! So that was bizarre and rarely happens but when it does it’s normally on that kind of crazy scale.

(Source: breathtakingqueens)

fishcustardandthecumberbeast:

laurensmanlyscreams:

Just a reminder to the world that there is this glorious feminist thing called the Hawkeye Initiative. Where people draw Hawkeye (and possibly other avengers) in various sexual poses that comic artists generally depict women in.

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thehawkeyeinitiative
the greatest thing in the universe.
fatallywhimsical:

astrospection:

ATTENTION: SIGNAL BOOST THE SHIT OUT OF THIS RIGHT NOW. THIS IS NOT OK I HAVE FOUR DOGS AND I WOULD KILL THE BASTARD WHO TRIES TO HARM THEM OR ANY OTHER ANIMAL. SIGNAL BOOST PLEASE.

KEEP ALL ANIMALS INDOORS ON HALLOWEEN
Whether or not this Pit Bull thing is legit (it probably is—people love any reason to kill Pits), it’s just a good idea to keep all your animals—dogs, cats, whatever—indoors on Halloween evening and night. 
There are some really gross people out there who will use Halloween, or the night before Halloween, as an “excuse” to kill domestic animals for fun.
I had a friend who left her cat outside during the day on Halloween and didn’t make it home until after dark, and by the time she returned someone or a group of people had killed it. Don’t take any chances with your pets. 

fatallywhimsical:

astrospection:

ATTENTION: SIGNAL BOOST THE SHIT OUT OF THIS RIGHT NOW. THIS IS NOT OK I HAVE FOUR DOGS AND I WOULD KILL THE BASTARD WHO TRIES TO HARM THEM OR ANY OTHER ANIMAL. SIGNAL BOOST PLEASE.

KEEP ALL ANIMALS INDOORS ON HALLOWEEN

Whether or not this Pit Bull thing is legit (it probably is—people love any reason to kill Pits), it’s just a good idea to keep all your animals—dogs, cats, whatever—indoors on Halloween evening and night. 

There are some really gross people out there who will use Halloween, or the night before Halloween, as an “excuse” to kill domestic animals for fun.

I had a friend who left her cat outside during the day on Halloween and didn’t make it home until after dark, and by the time she returned someone or a group of people had killed it. Don’t take any chances with your pets. 

(Source: arcadeceasefire)

kia-kaha-winchesters:

pitynotawidow:

this is my new favourite gif

image

i have never noticed before today that spidey wasn’t real

still laughing about it 3 hours later

or how her hair is blowing in the wrong direction

(Source: pitynotawidow-archive)

iraffiruse:

Some people might feel sorry for themselves in this situation
Puppy don’t care
Puppy’s got stuff to do
Puppy’s got places to be
Puppy’s got people to bark at and things to sniff.

iraffiruse:

Some people might feel sorry for themselves in this situation

Puppy don’t care

Puppy’s got stuff to do

Puppy’s got places to be

Puppy’s got people to bark at and things to sniff.

clothinthesand:

barbeauxbot:

rurone:

So I really love how the intro to Pacific Rim is, like, 90% plausible/whatever for the first two minutes. Massive tragedy in San Francisco, media and cultural response, blah blah blah

Then, completely straight-up, “So that’s when we decided to make giant robots.”

When life hands you lemons

you make giant robots

(Source: soundssimpleright)

ask-the-flesh-thief:

j0ye:

OKAY SO I’M GONNA DROP A STORY ON Y’ALL 
MY FOLLOWERS KNOW THAT I’M PRETTY UNIQUE LOOKING
I HAVE A GNARLY UNDERCUT, A SHORT HAIRCUT, AND AS OF YESTERDAY MY HAIR IS BRIGHT PURPLE, AND I TEND TO WEAR CLOTHES OF THE ALL-BLACK-SHORT-SKIRTS-THIGH-HIGHS-INTIMIDATING-HEAD-BITCH-IN-CHARGE VARIETY
MY FOLLOWERS ALSO KNOW THAT I HAVE A RAD LITTLE THREE-YEAR-OLD SON NAMED OLIVER WHO IS MY WORLD
ONE DAY, OLIVER AND I WERE AT THE STORE, AND WE WERE WALKING PAST THE CEREAL, SINGING A SONG TOGETHER AND OVERALL JUST BEING CUTE BECAUSE WE’RE FUCKING ADORABLE, AND THIS MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN WAS WALKING THE OTHER WAY WITH HER HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER. I’M USED TO PEOPLE STARING AT ME, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING I WAS ROCKING BLUE HAIR AND A OUIJA BOARD SHIRT AND A HELLA CUTE VELVET MINISKIRT THIS SPECIFIC DAY, SO I IGNORED HER GLARING AT ME AND CONTINUED ON LOOKING AT THE PANDA PUFFS
THEN I STARTED HEARING HER MUTTER UNDER HER BREATH ABOUT ME, SAYING STUFF LIKE, “Irresponsible teen mom couldn’t keep her legs closed” AND, “Her son is going to be so messed up because she has absolutely no self-respect”
NORMALLY I JUST LET IT GO, BUT THAT DAY OLIVER AND I WERE SINGING THE SHINS SO I WAS IN A REALLY GOOD MOOD AND FELT CONFIDENT, SO I STOPPED MY CART AND SAID, “Excuse me, did you say something?”. SHE KINDA STARTED BLUSHING AND SAID NO, TO WHICH I REPLIED, “Well, it seems you kinda did say something. Something about me being irresponsible and not having respect for myself?” AND THIS WOMAN WAS BRIGHT RED AT THIS AND HER HUSBAND WAS JUST TRYNA HURRY HER ALONG AT THAT POINT BUT I HELLA WAS NOT GONNA LET HER GET AWAY WITH SHIT TALKING ME SO I SAID, “You know, I do respect myself. I have my hair like this because I respect myself enough to do it and have the confidence to pull it off, and I dress like this because I respect the fact that I have killer legs that I don’t want to hide just because some old crows glare at me over it. My self-respect has nothing to do with my parenting ability, but if it did, I’d say it’s been a positive correlation because my son is respectful of everyone and doesn’t judge people based on their appearances. He knows that people look how they do because that’s just how they want to look, and that’s how all three-year-olds are until they get to the age where they see the fact that their parents are scowling at a girl who has bright hair, or a boy who wears a skirt, and that’s the age where they become insufferable assholes like you.” AND LET ME JUST SAY THIS WOMAN’S JAW DROPPED FASTER THAN THE TRIX BOX SHE WAS HOLDING AS I FUCKIN SASHAYED OUT WITH MY PANDA PUFFS AND CARRIED ON SINGING~*~*~

//you’re my hero

ask-the-flesh-thief:

j0ye:

OKAY SO I’M GONNA DROP A STORY ON Y’ALL 

MY FOLLOWERS KNOW THAT I’M PRETTY UNIQUE LOOKING

I HAVE A GNARLY UNDERCUT, A SHORT HAIRCUT, AND AS OF YESTERDAY MY HAIR IS BRIGHT PURPLE, AND I TEND TO WEAR CLOTHES OF THE ALL-BLACK-SHORT-SKIRTS-THIGH-HIGHS-INTIMIDATING-HEAD-BITCH-IN-CHARGE VARIETY

MY FOLLOWERS ALSO KNOW THAT I HAVE A RAD LITTLE THREE-YEAR-OLD SON NAMED OLIVER WHO IS MY WORLD

ONE DAY, OLIVER AND I WERE AT THE STORE, AND WE WERE WALKING PAST THE CEREAL, SINGING A SONG TOGETHER AND OVERALL JUST BEING CUTE BECAUSE WE’RE FUCKING ADORABLE, AND THIS MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN WAS WALKING THE OTHER WAY WITH HER HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER. I’M USED TO PEOPLE STARING AT ME, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING I WAS ROCKING BLUE HAIR AND A OUIJA BOARD SHIRT AND A HELLA CUTE VELVET MINISKIRT THIS SPECIFIC DAY, SO I IGNORED HER GLARING AT ME AND CONTINUED ON LOOKING AT THE PANDA PUFFS

THEN I STARTED HEARING HER MUTTER UNDER HER BREATH ABOUT ME, SAYING STUFF LIKE, “Irresponsible teen mom couldn’t keep her legs closed” AND, “Her son is going to be so messed up because she has absolutely no self-respect”

NORMALLY I JUST LET IT GO, BUT THAT DAY OLIVER AND I WERE SINGING THE SHINS SO I WAS IN A REALLY GOOD MOOD AND FELT CONFIDENT, SO I STOPPED MY CART AND SAID, “Excuse me, did you say something?”. SHE KINDA STARTED BLUSHING AND SAID NO, TO WHICH I REPLIED, “Well, it seems you kinda did say something. Something about me being irresponsible and not having respect for myself?” AND THIS WOMAN WAS BRIGHT RED AT THIS AND HER HUSBAND WAS JUST TRYNA HURRY HER ALONG AT THAT POINT BUT I HELLA WAS NOT GONNA LET HER GET AWAY WITH SHIT TALKING ME SO I SAID, “You know, I do respect myself. I have my hair like this because I respect myself enough to do it and have the confidence to pull it off, and I dress like this because I respect the fact that I have killer legs that I don’t want to hide just because some old crows glare at me over it. My self-respect has nothing to do with my parenting ability, but if it did, I’d say it’s been a positive correlation because my son is respectful of everyone and doesn’t judge people based on their appearances. He knows that people look how they do because that’s just how they want to look, and that’s how all three-year-olds are until they get to the age where they see the fact that their parents are scowling at a girl who has bright hair, or a boy who wears a skirt, and that’s the age where they become insufferable assholes like you.” AND LET ME JUST SAY THIS WOMAN’S JAW DROPPED FASTER THAN THE TRIX BOX SHE WAS HOLDING AS I FUCKIN SASHAYED OUT WITH MY PANDA PUFFS AND CARRIED ON SINGING~*~*~

//you’re my hero

(Source: krl-vnzla)

periru3:

I shouldn’t be allowed on Tumblr. Stupid things happen. 

(Like me seeing this post and going insane)